10 things Shakespeare has taught us

  1. Never poke your sword in a moving arras, since you’ll end up killing your girlfriend’s dad.
  2. Always leave a fair gap between a funeral and a wedding, otherwise people will think that you’re serving up leftovers.
  3. If you suspect your lover has committed suicide, get a proper medical opinion before doing anything rash, as they may be in some sort of coma.
  4. Don’t believe in prophecies, as they can be highly misleading. Forests, for example, can shift location for a whole load of reasons, global warming being merely the most recent.
  5. It’s dumb to hand over all your assets to your kids after you retire. They may turn nasty. Before you know it, you’ll be forced to cut back on the size of your retinue, and who needs that when you are 80?
  6. Love is blind.
  7. The leek is an inherently funny vegetable.
  8. When making love to someone in a darkened room, have a chat first, because it’s amazingly easy to end up having sex with the wrong person.
  9. If giving an official present to the King of England, try to do better than a set of tennis balls.
  10. A good reason to depart any locality is that you are being pursued by a bear.

The Ring Lady


Courtesy of ‘Whatarewefightingfor Fox’

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